Independent minds. Dependent on coffee.No gurus. Just grievances.Correspondence, eventually
An exhausted attendee surrounded by people with enormous empty speech bubbles

The networking event has run out of normal sentences

A fictional evening of telling strangers you are passionate about things.

Someone asks what you do. Instead of answering, you release a carefully rehearsed paragraph and watch both of you become tired.

Meeting other people in the industry does not require a portable brand manifesto. Describe the kind of work you do in ordinary language. Ask what they are working on and listen long enough to ask a real follow-up question.

You do not need to turn every conversation into an opportunity before the drinks arrive. A useful connection can begin with shared curiosity rather than a proposal disguised as friendliness.

If you promise to send something, send it. A brief note with the resource you discussed is more meaningful than adding a stranger to an unsolicited sequence of inspirational emails.

It is also acceptable to leave when you are done. Networking is an activity, not a moral test of how much fluorescent lighting you can tolerate.

Your elevator pitch may remain in the elevator. The rest of us are taking the stairs.

About this dispatch

Original satire and opinion from The Revision Cult. Invented office scenes illustrate familiar creative-work dilemmas; they are not accounts of named clients.

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